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While I have already outgrown my living room/closet, I am confident I would be able to find a way to make room for each of these necessities, if gifted to me. In buying me any of the below this holiday season, you can rest assured that I will not return it; I will not say I love it and never wear it; I will neither laugh in your face nor claim you don‘t know me at all. You can purchase with confidence, knowing that each has passed my before-you-buy rule: I saw it, I walked away, then I saw it again in my dreams…

Alexander Wang “Lara” Combat Boots

No, I really don’t need another pair of boots, but these would make great substitutes for my current favorites, which are slowly dying–I feel like Pretty Woman; I’ve got a safety pin holding my boot up!

Experience Hendrix Tour Tickets

Jimi Hendrix rocks my world. I saw a FXY-LDY license plate and cursed myself for not thinking of it first, and I have plans to name my first child Hendrix. Girl or boy. Don’t steal my baby name.. Coming to STL in March, long-time fave Kenny Wayne Shepherd is part of the Experience Hendrix Tour’s killer lineup. Tix, please!

Givenchy Studded Headband

I have needed this ever since I first saw the even-better version on Karlie Kloss during the Givenchy Haute Couture show. Then Vanessa Traina wore the original to the SS10 shows, and kind of stole my thunder. Bitch… I still want it, though. I’d wear mine way better than she wore hers; I’m convinced.

J Brand “The Doll” Denim

Obnoxious ‘70s fashions are kind of an obsession. I already have enough hippie fur and shearling coats–now I just need the widest possible bell-bottoms to match.

Michael Kors Chain Link Necklace

Somewhat old news (FW09), this has yet to go on sale. Come on! I would resort to a DIY version, but people look at me funny when I walk into Home Depot.

Rick Owens Biker Jacket

So soft and so luxe, I’m almost ready to settle for the Victoria’s Secret knockoff so people don’t pity me for being the last stylist in the world without a Rick Owens leather jacket. Almost.

Stella McCartney Jumpsuit

As I’m a sucker for a great jumpsuit, the fact that I don’t own one by Stella McCartney is shocking–to me, at least. I heart this lace onesie!

Louis Vuitton Leopard Stole

Since I’ve torn up my apartment looking for my favorite black G-Star scarf, I’ve decided it will never turn up–like the single vintage motorcycle boot I’ve been searching for for at least three months. To replace the freebie I got in a gift bag at New York Fashion Week, I pick this $715 LV stole. Don’t think about it; just hand it over.

Images via farfetch.com, theinsider.com, vogue.com, shopbop.com, style.com, coolspotters.com, louisvuitton.com